A Friend Then, Strangers Now

 

Female friendships are a funny thing- You find connection and texts almost immediately fly back and forth. Coffee dates, meets ups and pretty soon there is the regular flow of weekly connections.

When it comes to girlfriends it is such a thrill when you meet the right one. The one that laughs at your stupid jokes, feels the same fears you do or even thinks the same shows are worth watching again and again. Usually British murder ones.

We envision it continuing on and we crave same-ness but, what happens when it doesn’t?

Recently I came across this quote on Instagram

 



It’s funny how someone who was just a stranger last year,

can mean so much to you now.

It’s terrible that someone who meant so much to you last year

can be just a stranger now.

It’s amazing what a year can do.

 

As I look at some friendships, I see a couple of women that I went so far as to call best friend. I knew them well and felt like we were kindred spirits. Now, when I see them it is all a blank. I have no idea what they find funny and any struggles that are in their day to day life are mysteries to me.

 

We fell out, communication stopped. The train went off the tracks and what is left you ask? A friendship that lays broken before you.  I ask myself, did it happen in this one instance or were there signs and did it happen more gradually than I thought?

 

When I let my mind drift back over a year ago and really focus in I think I see the chinks starting to crack. It seemed like more misunderstandings happened and little irritations would pop up. Interest in different things and a desire to spend time with other people crept in. All in all, so slowly I don’t even think I fully understood.

 

We had a good conversation one night and then it felt like within a few days things were quieter and I was being avoided. What used to be a comfortable friendship felt like it had little bits of fear and distance poured in.

 

At this point, we hit the fast forward button to move into the start of an ending.  I will never know what was on the other side because things grew quiet and my concerns were met with offense. What seemed to be a hurdle we would jump over grew into a mountain of impasse. Months rolled by and now, I see those strangers. A life once lived together.

 Sometimes I wonder about what their friendships look like now. Do they text someone else with the little bits of their day. Is there someone else they ask for help from? Do they remember me with fondness or do the fragments for our relationship crowd out the memories?

 



 

Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side, our roots will always be tangled and I am glad for that.

Ally Condie

 

I don’t want to remember the last gasping breaths of the relationship. I want to reflect on the good. The time food was delivered to me as I recovered from surgery.  How it felt to know they had my back. There were times of adventures and silly stories that overwhelmed me into fits of laughter. At conferences I would know they would be there attending and we could grow together. We were pulling towards the same goals. People don’t talk enough about these moments of friendship in the middle years. They come along just when you need them.

 

I grieve the ending but, will always remember our good times and because of that I reflect and smile. They may be strangers now but, at one time we loved sharing lives as our roots grew together.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Of Rings and Loss

Image
When I arrived home one night my husband was standing in the living room with the couch upside down and pulled apart. I approached, confused and amused at what I observed. It turns out, that he had misplaced his wedding ring and was convinced it was inside the couch. His search produced nothing that night but, over the next days he would stop periodically and look around for his ring. Full of frustration he would mutter "It is just not like me to do something like this"  Time passed as time is inclined to do.....  One morning he came upstairs, a huge smile on his face with the ring back on his finger. He informed me it was sitting in a jar in his garage man cave and that he just knew he had put it somewhere odd. Relief was written on his face and visibly he relaxed to have the ring upon finger once more.   This caused me to think about the times in life that we do something outside of normal, something disappears and we aren't sure God is truly walking with his in t...
Read more

Of Moving Trucks and Snowy Days

Image
As I watch my children grow over each Christmas season one thing has remained constant. Their desire for the day to arrive. Most days when I wake up and greet them I am asked "How many more days Mom?" It shows how the excitement builds within them till they can't contain it. This is exactly how I felt in regards to our family's big move. Each day I would call on the Lord and ask "How many more days?" It was a time of learning to trust in His perfect plan. Around Thanksgiving my husband found out he'd gotten a job in Spokane. Naturally, this led to the renting a home,  moving truck and setting a plan into motion. Many cardboard boxes and dismantled pieces of furniture later we were getting ready to be on the road. I can't begin to describe what a peace filled journey it was. Each day the Lord would instruct me on what to do so I wasn't pent up with stress or worry. I JUST knew the Lord was controlling it. Our family pulled together in ha...
Read more

Truth Revealed

Image
Truth-  a (1) : the body of real things, events, and facts : actuality ( 2 ) : the state of being the case : fact ( 3 ) often capitalized : a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality b : a judgment, proposition, or idea that is true or accepted as true c : fidelity to an original or to a standard 3 a : sincerity in action, character, and utterance b archaic : fidelity , constancy Starting out here a definition- Word definitions in essence are ...
Read more